Horror Collection 6 Movie Pack

One of my favorite places to go are used DVD stores. There's one local to me called Disc Replay (maybe it's a chain across the country, I don't know, I'm too lazy to Google it. Oh alright...looking on their website under the locations tab, I see they're only in the mid-west. Sorry East Coast and West Coast. These are fruits in which you must not taste) and they often sell DVD's for 3.33 because of tax reasons I guess. If you buy 5 movies, the 6th one is free (lowest priced is the free one). Because of this, I always try to get all 6 movies for the same price but their pricing is weird because they'll have the standard stuff for 3.33 but then they'll have Primer for 19.99. I don't even know WHY they have it for that much. Don't even get me started on how much they wanted Men At Work. I almost pooped in my hand and threw it at them as a form of protest.

(Future reference, don't invite me to protests.)

Anyway, the point of all of this is these places are always full of those DVD packs that have 20 movies for a dollar. Since Disc Replay is the place you go to sell DVD's you don't want and get three cents back, people sell these DVD packs because they couldn't justify having 5 crappy movies just for one. Which is fine because I totally love having 5 crappy movies just for one.

This is where this particular movie pack comes into play. There's exactly three reasons why I bought the DVD pack and I'll go over those reasons in a minute. Let me tell you about five of the movies that's on here, saving the sixth for a M. Night Shyamalan style twist.

First, we have a movie called Blood Diner. I've never seen this but I think I've heard of it. Let's peep the trailer.




Well, that was deliciously weird. Heh, I made a pun...

Anyway, I realized that I got this movie confused with another movie about a diner and I thought I was getting that one. But I don't regret my mistake cause this looks interesting. But the one I got mixed-up with was called Die-Ner (Get It?) I mean how often does a movie title get to nudge you in the side, huh?

The next movie, and reason #1 I wanted this set, is Parents. This is a pretty underrated horror movie from the '80s about a kid who realizes his parents are cannibals and is worried they're gonna eat him if he doesn't do the dishes. It stars Randy Quaid so take that for what it's worth.

I took 3 pictures of this and all came out blurry. CONSPIRACY THEORY?!?! 

The next movie is something called Sundown: The Vampire In Retreat. It stars....David Carradine! AND BRUCE CAMPBELL! Why am I not watching this now?!? For some reason there isn't a trailer on YouTube, but you can rent it for 1.99. Thankfully, I own this masterpiece so I don't have to.

Next up is Fido, the second reason I wanted this set. Aw man, I love Fido! It's a movie that takes place in an alternate history where there was a war with zombies back in the '50s and humans ended up winning. So they found a way to domesticate zombies, turning them into pets. This one kid wants one so badly but his father hates zombies but reluctantly gives in and gives him Zombie Billy Connolly as the titular Fido. There's also a neighbor who fucks zombies, which if you weren't in on the plot before, now I'm sure you are. I love this movie and was glad to get this for 3.33 with 5 other movies.

There's another movie called Boy Eats Girl and between this, Parents, and Blood Diner, I'm getting a sense of theme from this set, which normally doesn't happen in a generically title set. I won't post the trailer but it's like "Hey we saw Shaun of the Dead, let's do that but set it in high school!" Which sounds good but it doesn't look good.

OK, I stalled long enough. The twist, the last movie, and reason #3 for getting this set. You have a DVD called Horror Collection, filled with five horror related movies involving vampires, zombies, and cannibals. What could POSSIBLY fill the 6th spot?

Yes. Earth Girls Are Easy. Five horror movies and a sci-fi comedy starring Genna Davis and Jeff Goldblum. And Jim Carrey. And Damon Wayans. I don't even know what to say about this. What the hell were they thinking putting this on this set? Was it a mistake? Or did someone just look at the title and thought "Hey, this sounds like a scary sci-fi movie about aliens kidnapping girls! Slap it on there, Bucko!" And Bucko said "But why?" And they said "Do it or your fired, Bucko!" and Bucko said "Jeez, I wish my parents hadn't named me Bucko" and went to include Earth Girls Are Easy as the 6th movie on a Horror Collection DVD. Bucko later killed himself at home. RIP Bucko.




I mean this trailer has all the tropes of a horror movie. Colorful palette, upbeat synthesizer, Julie Brown. Who wouldn't confuse Earth Girls Are Easy as horror?

So let's review on why I bought this particular set:

1. It has the criminally underrated and unappreciated film Parents starring Randy Quaid.
2. It has another underrated film Fido which everyone needs to go see ASAP.
3. It features the only time Earth Girls Are Easy can be called a horror movie.

So I think it goes without saying I know what I'm doing this Halloween. I'm watching these six horror movies. I can't think of nothing scarier than Charles Rocket being Geena Davis' boyfriend.

Look, it's smack dab in the middle of Blood Diner and Boy Eats Girl

I love that this disc has 2 of the 3 movies I got this set for.

Even the undead skeleton is reaching for Earth Girls Are Easy, as if to say "This is my favorite horror movie, and I should know horror, I'm an undead skeleton!" 

-Jason