The First Movie You Watch Is Important: Venom
As I stated in my 2018 round up post, I only watched 55 films, which feels like a whole new low. Granted, I was going through some shit and I was working on a book, but still, to quote a meme from a movie I haven't seen: YOU GOTTA PUMP THOSE NUMBERS!!
Maybe I should watch Meme movies in 2019.
Anyway, I gave myself some goals for 2019 and one of those was to watch at least 100 movies. I know that might sound low, especially for a hot shot famous movie guy like me, but the last time I watched over 100 movies was in 2014. Which is why I spent the first week of 2019 agonizing over what the first film I watch be.
Then I came across Venom.
Oddly enough, my story on how I watched Venom matched the story of Eddie Brock, the main character of the film. See, Eddie was a hot shot journalist who had it all: a TV show, a fiancee in a bad wig, a cat, a dubious New York accent. But thanks to one unfortunate event, Eddie fell hard. There's this guy in the movie named Carlton Drake who's basically this films Elon Musk, he wants to explore the cosmos for life and invent weird random shit. While one of his rocket ships was exploring space, they found these parasites. It doesn't matter where EXACTLY these parasites were, but they found them and they bought them back to Earth.
Elon Drake gets a hold of them and immediately tests them on humans, much to the chagrin of Dr. Jenny Slate. Eddie was given the chance to interview Drake and because his fiancee Annie is a lawyer that works for some people who are suing Drake, Eddie asks about the lawsuit. Oh did I mention this lawsuit was secret? So because Eddie exposed this and pissed off Drake, Eddie gets fired, gets Annie fired, and Annie leaves him.
We jump forward six months and Eddie is depressed and down on his luck. His only friend is a homeless woman. He shops at a store where the Yakuza asks for protection money. He looks like he smells bad. Then Dr. Jenny Slate finds him and tells him Drake is killing people left and right to test these parasites.
Here's a problem I have with these kinds of movies. There's always the scene where the hero is asked to look into something, they say no, they encounter someone they used to love in a way that's not stalking somehow, and then they go "oh what the hell?" Just once, I'd like to see a movie where the guy immediately goes "Yes, I'll help".
Anyway, Dr. Jenny Slate sneaks Eddie into Drake's lab where Eddie comes in contact with one of the parasites. The parasite enters the human body and starts transforming it much like the T-1000 in Terminator 2. It also talks to Eddie and makes him eat raw chicken and take baths in lobster tanks. This parasite in Eddie is Venom. We find out there are other parasites with names and personalities but the only other one we meet is Riot. From there it's your typical superhero film where the main character is reluctant to be the hero.
Oh wait, no. This movie was marketed as "WE ARE SICK OF HEROES! WE NEED A VILLAIN!" Venom is suppose to be a bad guy! And he starts off that way but almost IMMEDIATELY he becomes a good guy. Well, a good guy in the same way Deadpool is a good guy. He doesn't want to destroy Earth but his moral compass is a bit off.
We do find out that Venom attaches itself to Eddie because Eddie is a down on his luck loser and on Venom's home planet, he was also a down on his luck loser that nobody liked. Anyway, I won't spoil the whole movie but you've seen it before. And you know, people use that as a negative and sometimes it works against a film, but there's nothing wrong with familiarity. This is, after all, a popcorn flick. Just a way to entertain the masses. It's not like this was written and directed by Terrence Malick, and yes a Terrence Malick superhero film would be fucking hilarious. It's about a space alien parasite who gets in Tom Hardy's body and eats peoples heads.
I won't take credit for asking this, cause I saw someone else online ask this, but when Eddie is Eddie again, does he poop human remains? Like bones and teeth and skin? Or does Venom have to take over when Eddie has to shit? Maybe they'll answer these questions in the sequel.
Now, you're probably asking yourself, "Didn't you just compare yourself to this movie?" and yes I did. I also was down on my luck recently. I lost my job, made my fiancee put on a crappy wig, and made her get fired from her job. I befriended Homeless Billy.
But I recently got my job back and slowly building myself back up when I went to a Wal-Mart one magical day and decided to look at the movies. And there, on the rack all by itself, was the final copy of Venom. And true story, the wrapping was off, it was completely opened, and the case looked like it survived The Civil Shredder Wars of 2009. Since it was in such a sad sorry state, I asked if I could have it for a discounted price and they said "sure". Probably cause they felt sorry for it.
Then it entered my body and I ate my neighbor's head. That's where the similarities stop.
My rating for this can be found on my Letterboxd page. Go follow me there.
Thanks for reading, now if you'll excuse me, I have to poop out a human head.
-Jason
Maybe I should watch Meme movies in 2019.
Anyway, I gave myself some goals for 2019 and one of those was to watch at least 100 movies. I know that might sound low, especially for a hot shot famous movie guy like me, but the last time I watched over 100 movies was in 2014. Which is why I spent the first week of 2019 agonizing over what the first film I watch be.
Then I came across Venom.
Oddly enough, my story on how I watched Venom matched the story of Eddie Brock, the main character of the film. See, Eddie was a hot shot journalist who had it all: a TV show, a fiancee in a bad wig, a cat, a dubious New York accent. But thanks to one unfortunate event, Eddie fell hard. There's this guy in the movie named Carlton Drake who's basically this films Elon Musk, he wants to explore the cosmos for life and invent weird random shit. While one of his rocket ships was exploring space, they found these parasites. It doesn't matter where EXACTLY these parasites were, but they found them and they bought them back to Earth.
 |
| Michelle Williams here, after asking if the thing on her head was once alive. |
Elon Drake gets a hold of them and immediately tests them on humans, much to the chagrin of Dr. Jenny Slate. Eddie was given the chance to interview Drake and because his fiancee Annie is a lawyer that works for some people who are suing Drake, Eddie asks about the lawsuit. Oh did I mention this lawsuit was secret? So because Eddie exposed this and pissed off Drake, Eddie gets fired, gets Annie fired, and Annie leaves him.
We jump forward six months and Eddie is depressed and down on his luck. His only friend is a homeless woman. He shops at a store where the Yakuza asks for protection money. He looks like he smells bad. Then Dr. Jenny Slate finds him and tells him Drake is killing people left and right to test these parasites.
Here's a problem I have with these kinds of movies. There's always the scene where the hero is asked to look into something, they say no, they encounter someone they used to love in a way that's not stalking somehow, and then they go "oh what the hell?" Just once, I'd like to see a movie where the guy immediately goes "Yes, I'll help".
Anyway, Dr. Jenny Slate sneaks Eddie into Drake's lab where Eddie comes in contact with one of the parasites. The parasite enters the human body and starts transforming it much like the T-1000 in Terminator 2. It also talks to Eddie and makes him eat raw chicken and take baths in lobster tanks. This parasite in Eddie is Venom. We find out there are other parasites with names and personalities but the only other one we meet is Riot. From there it's your typical superhero film where the main character is reluctant to be the hero.
Oh wait, no. This movie was marketed as "WE ARE SICK OF HEROES! WE NEED A VILLAIN!" Venom is suppose to be a bad guy! And he starts off that way but almost IMMEDIATELY he becomes a good guy. Well, a good guy in the same way Deadpool is a good guy. He doesn't want to destroy Earth but his moral compass is a bit off.
 |
| Venom: Based On A Song By Tina Turner |
We do find out that Venom attaches itself to Eddie because Eddie is a down on his luck loser and on Venom's home planet, he was also a down on his luck loser that nobody liked. Anyway, I won't spoil the whole movie but you've seen it before. And you know, people use that as a negative and sometimes it works against a film, but there's nothing wrong with familiarity. This is, after all, a popcorn flick. Just a way to entertain the masses. It's not like this was written and directed by Terrence Malick, and yes a Terrence Malick superhero film would be fucking hilarious. It's about a space alien parasite who gets in Tom Hardy's body and eats peoples heads.
I won't take credit for asking this, cause I saw someone else online ask this, but when Eddie is Eddie again, does he poop human remains? Like bones and teeth and skin? Or does Venom have to take over when Eddie has to shit? Maybe they'll answer these questions in the sequel.
Now, you're probably asking yourself, "Didn't you just compare yourself to this movie?" and yes I did. I also was down on my luck recently. I lost my job, made my fiancee put on a crappy wig, and made her get fired from her job. I befriended Homeless Billy.
 |
| For 20 bucks, I'll show you my di-WOODROW WILSON IS STILL ALIVE!!! |
But I recently got my job back and slowly building myself back up when I went to a Wal-Mart one magical day and decided to look at the movies. And there, on the rack all by itself, was the final copy of Venom. And true story, the wrapping was off, it was completely opened, and the case looked like it survived The Civil Shredder Wars of 2009. Since it was in such a sad sorry state, I asked if I could have it for a discounted price and they said "sure". Probably cause they felt sorry for it.
Then it entered my body and I ate my neighbor's head. That's where the similarities stop.
My rating for this can be found on my Letterboxd page. Go follow me there.
Thanks for reading, now if you'll excuse me, I have to poop out a human head.
-Jason
Your description of this movie was way more enjoyable that watching it. I loved your pic of Michelle Williams and the dead thing on her head was funny.
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